What prevented me from publishing my own fiction was the fear of being critiqued. Could I handle constructive feedback about my stories? Sure, I’ve been a writer for decades, and as a news reporter worked with editors, but news wasn’t the creative work I had made from nothing.

From my time as a news reporter and editor I also knew that anything I put out there to the public was liable to receive intense scrutiny and criticism. I worried I wouldn’t be able to cope with that.

But wasn’t it time for me to realize my dream? For my ideas for a story to reach a wider audience? I wanted to take that chance, but how to go about it? I decided to finally attend a writer’s critique group that I had been stalking on Facebook for several months. I brought the first fairytale story (Milking Time from Wicked Wolves of Windsor and other Fairytales) along with my nerves to the meeting.

The group required you to bring something that could be read out loud within 10 minutes. You hand around copies of the work to the others, and they mark editing suggestions on the copies. These papers with comments are later returned to you. This also protects your story from being used in other ways.

The first time my heart pounded so fast and hard that it felt like an anxiety attack or heart attack! It was like being back in school again and having your turn to read. It was neither and I survived!

One person loved my introductory line – another person hated it. They had some comments on my grammar. I took it like a Big Girl. Some of it I agreed with, some made me angry, and some I didn’t do.

And I came back two weeks later.

Why? Because the criticism improved my writing. It made me think over things. It gave me insight from minds not my own or my partners. It gave me a viewpoint of what my reader might see.

I saw a comment on a private forum from a writer on how she didn’t want a proofreader or copy editor to view her work because it was her baby. That dumbfounded me. You do realize that if you get published someone else will see your work? That reviews will be posted? Reviews you have no control over?

I get it, though – It’s hard to show people what you deeply care about. And I’m still learning to take criticism myself.

I’m now working with a copy editor. The first short story she worked on had me reeling a bit when I saw the markups, but all her comments were valid and something I needed to see.

Now, we’ve done four together and I felt like we were on the same page. I agreed with almost everything she pointed out – and the things I didn’t, I easily changed or adjusted so the reader confusion was eliminated. She’s figuring out my style, and I’m seeing the things I’ve gotten sloppy about working on my own.

Criticism can work in your favor! You don’t have to agree with all their suggestions, but you do need to:
1.) Be open minded enough to listen.
2.) Try not to take it personally. It is a criticism of your work, not your person. And work can always be improved.
3.) Find people who can work with you, not against you.

Criticism should be helpful and constructive – not like being flogged at the whipping post.

How do you find an in-person critique group? Check out social media for your area, such as local writer Facebook groups, Meet-Up and NaNoWriMo.

Once you find a group, you may want to talk with the organizer first and find out the rules and how the group operates. Not all writer groups participate in the same way, and the “flavor” of the group really depends upon the mix of people attending it. I’ve attended two other local writer groups, and I didn’t care for either of them. Different strokes for different folks.

If in-person is scary, check out online writing groups, like what is found at Scribophile.

Another way to learn how to manage criticism is to form your own Beta Reading group. These are fans and friends who would see your writing while you are still working on it. The more people you don’t know that you have as beta readers, the more you will be tested on knowing when to change something and when to stick to your guns.

Need more advice for writing, publishing, or marketing your book? Check out my Writer’s Life blog posts. You can also subscribe to the blog to know when I publish another one in the Writer-help series.