Based upon the world of Polite Society found in the sweet historical fairytale series by Byrd Nash

How to address a Queen of Fairy vs a Queen of England

As one knows, the queen of England is addressed as Your Majesty first, and thereafter as Ma’am. Similarly the king is addressed first as Your Majesty, then as Sir; and close relatives of the ruler are addressed as Your Royal Highness.

With a Fairy Queen, the mode is similar, except that one should always add a superlative, appropriate to the situation or person: Your Radiant Majesty, Your Most Wise Majesty, Your Perpetual Majesty, or the like. If supplicating or entreating the royal person for some favor, consider Your Most Generous Majesty or Your Most Benevolent Majesty.

Such small touches can put them in the best frame of mind. It may even prevent them from forcing you to dance forever in your shoes or to drop songbirds from your mouth when talking.

After the initial address, rather than Ma’am, the form My Lady is preferred. Fairy Queens enjoy being reminded of their perpetual youth so adding praise such as My Beautiful Lady or My Lady of Clear Complexion and Smooth Brow, always pleases.

Oddly, to our sensibilities, Fairy Kings are generally considered subordinate to their Queens. They are addressed first as Your Highness and then as My Lord, again with a carefully chosen superlative: Your Most Excellent Highness, Your Most Brave and Noble Highness.

Remember that, according to all reports, it seems to be impossible to flatter a Fairy Queen too much. They are also known for taking offense very quickly, and resent familiarity. It it best to be overly polite and fawning at all times.

Protect your child from being seduced by a Fairy Queen or Prince

Much to many a parent’s sorrow, once your child has come to the attention of a Fairy it is extremely difficult to extract her from their clutches. The best you can do is to put up safeguards before the fact. Don’t close the stable door after the horse has been stolen.

Do not allow young persons to be outdoors unattended at the quarter-points of the day: dusk, dawn, midnight, and noon. If they must walk outdoors, make sure they are accompanied by a guardian who is fully aware of the dangers. Insist on them wearing veils over their faces to prevent their young beauty being seen, and make sure they are wearing a gold cross around their neck.

The worse trial a parent faces is when her son or daughter is of a romantic bent. These naïve youngsters may even desire to meet Fairies, not knowing of the true danger! A subtle approach, such as sewing iron nails into the hems of their dresses or coats, can protect them without their even knowing.

Take especial care on May Day, Midsummer’s and Midwinter’s Day, and Samhain (November 1). On these days, Fairies are wont to wander the countryside, riding their horses or wild stags, looking for attractive young people to join their festivities. A dance on the green may seem innocent but those who participate seldom return home in time for dinner!

Other protections include: a tincture of St John’s Wort can be added to face or hand cream, which can be a most effective repellent to Fairies. Jewelry of iron, while not fashionable, can be invaluable in revealing Fairies and dissuade their attentions. Wearing clothes inside out, or reversed, have long been used to confuse Fairies as they are not exceedingly bright things.

In the end, getting your youngster married as quickly as possible to a human being of moderate to generous wealth is the best solution. At the wedding service itself be sure to decorate the church with Rowan twigs or berries above each doorway and window, and add Rosemary to the floral arrangements.

A beautiful bridesmaid attendant, unveiled, and without any iron, is also a good distraction.

Perils and Pitfalls of asking a Fairy Godmother to attend the Christening

While it is well known that a Fairy Godmother can confer most excellent gifts to a baby during Christening, such as beauty, grace, luck, a fine singing voice, or skill with a needle, this is not something to undertake lightly.

Fairies can be capricious and do not always make choices that align with the desires of a loving parent. We warn you that Fairies are not exceptionally bright. Nor do they take the considerations of doting parents seriously.

Do you truly want your beautiful daughter to be the finest spinner of thread in the kingdom? Her fingers worn to the bone to produce gold to support the local economy? Such a menial occupation is hardly to be thought of.

Other common gifts, while sounding pleasant, would actually become a serious handicap in Society. How would your daughter secure a good match if she drops a pearl from her mouth whenever she speaks? Do you think an Earl or a Duke wants a girl who, when she washes her hands, multicolored fishes drop from her fingers?

Therefore, you should ensure that the Fairy Godmother you wish to invite is well known to your family. Perhaps even has a history of benefiting your ancestors with gracious and beneficial gifts that have advanced their standing.

This can be a ticklish subject to approach, as of course one must not seem to be telling the Godmother what to give, or ordering her about in any way. As in all matters, fairies are very sensitive to insult. They must think the gift is their own idea for if they become aware of your influence, they could take affront and wreck the entire ceremony with some ill-advised but spectacular curse that could end your family line forever.

On the subject of unintended insults, take great care that there are no other fairies of your acquaintance or in your social circle who might expect to be invited. If a bird or a toad comes to you and speaks of Fairy gossip be sure to listen. Fairies can’t keep their grievances to themselves so someone will know beforehand and we strongly advise you take heed of any warning given.

In the long run, it is better to invite ALL such fairies rather than court hurt feelings. If more than one fairy is expected, ensure that you have sufficient favors and honors for all. Treat all attending fairies with scrupulous care, and that all are seated with similar dignity.

If there is a particular fairy who is an especial friend, and whom you can rely on, speak to them privately in advance. Play up on how much your precious child looks up to them. How treasured your acquaintance is. Suggest that they offer their magical gift last, the position of honor. This will give them the opportunity to counter any unfortunate gifts from other fairies.

Lastly, remember that even the most harmless of fairy gifts can come with unintended consequences. Your child may be bound, all unaware, to fulfill some future fairy-tale adventure, which is often very uncomfortable.

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