As the last book in the series wraps up my ghost Gaslamp series (Ghastly Mistake #6), I feel the familiar tug of depression. Will the book be enough? Will readers be pleased? Can I write something again that is just as good as what I completed?

These last few years since 2020 (when the world shut down) has been very lonely on the writing front. Before I had the support of a writing group and family, and now I have only family. Husband is a great cheerleader but there is something to say for outside validation that he simply can’t give.

Ups ands downs of working on a book series

The move to Illinois disrupted the Elinor Chalamet series and that was something I couldn’t help or even predict as we decided to move due to external issues. It’s hard to stay on track with writing when you are packing moving vans, and trying to get your fix-up project house into a livable condition.

Readers hated the cliffhanger in book 5, Haunted Grave, and yet it was something that felt natural to the narrative. In the future, I will probably continue doing cliffhangers in the penultimate book of a series because it keeps readers buying – sorry, but it is what it is. Without readers buying my books I can’t continue to afford to write.

However, taking in reader’s opinions about this I will not publish the penultimate book unless I can also publish the last book at the same time. I feel that is fair to us both.

Many authors just give up and stop writing

I can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind about just giving up on writing anything more.

Being an independent author is a struggle. I make no money with this gig – actually I lose money as the IRS will verify.

Every day I’m being pummeled – with reviews that may not live up to my expectations; emails from companies that promise me the Holy Grail if only I would spend thousands with them they will give me success; and paying for ads and helpers which further declines the bank balance.

I get advice from many and sometimes it goes contrary to my vision. How do you preserve your unique voice when you are in a boxing ring and everyone is taking a punch at you? When the doubt sets in and you wonder if you are wrong? It does take a strong ego to keep going against all these different waves hitting you, trying to drown you.

The struggle to be creative (again and again)

It is challenging to bring something new to the table with every book. Especially, if you are dealing with depression or have restricted access to the world at large for it is experiencing new things that helps a writer’s brain. An author needs to be stimulated, with food, nature, music, and sound. Creativity feeds on itself.

I don’t want to be one of those authors who just re-writes the same plot, throw in some new names, and publish another book that vaguely reads like everything else I’ve written. While it is tempting to stick to a tried and true formula in order to be ‘safe’ I’m just not that type of author!

Some are sad to see the Elinor Chalamet series end, and I appreciate that! I really do! But I have said what I wanted about those characters and that world. It could be that I write again about those characters, but I don’t want to make that promise. For now, I need a breather from writing a series and meeting tight deadlines.

The doubt I struggle with as an author

My poor husband knows that once I hit the middle of a book, I usually spend a week moaning about how I don’t know what to do with the story. This happens again when I get to the last five chapters of a book.

As each book publishes, that doubt has eased but it never completely goes away. Can I finish it?! Will it be a good, satisfying end?

Thankfully, with Elinor, I knew how her story was going to end from the first book. This made writing the series easier. So whether readers understand why I ended it the way I did, it was exactly what I had planned from the very beginning.

Elinor’s story is an emotional journey of a person who hid her sorrow over her father’s death and pretended to the world she was a functioning human being, to becoming a woman who gives herself permission to move on from that burden of revenge. This is a huge emotional growth that I’m not sure some readers will understand for we all wish for a satisfying fulfilment meaning a horrible death for the villain.

However, I personally am very pleased with the series.

Finding the joy in writing as an author

While writing a scene if I start to giggle or my fingers fly over the keyboard, I know I’m doing good! These are the lift up moments where all is coming together and the writing becomes effortless. Sometimes those feelings are few and far between.

These last two years have been challenging for me. We sold our house of 25+ years, moved to temporary accommodations for a year, bought a new house in a different state, husband change jobs, son graduated from college, I lost two pets due to disease, and my mother-in-law passed away, as well as my own mother.

When I look back on it I can understand why my health has deteriorated! So getting healthy again is my number one priority! Which will mean taking this summer a little slow, and smelling some roses along the way.

This summer is time to relax a little, get organized with my writing, and play with some new ideas. I’ve long held the belief that you cannot create without being exposed to new things – music, plays, movies, books, museums, art shows, or maybe just a walk down a new path. All of this provides food to the brain so I’m looking forward to feeding myself a creative soup this summer to become re-charged.

Need more advice for writing, publishing, or marketing your book? Check out my Writer’s Life blog posts. You can also subscribe to the blog to know when I publish another one in the Writer-help series.